Whenever I see someone
less fortunate than I,
and let’s face it,
who isn’t less fortunate than I?
My tender heart tends to start to bleed.
And when someone needs a makeover
I simply have to take over!
I know, I know exactly what they need!
And even in your case,
though it’s the toughest case I’ve yet to face,
don’t worry, I’m determined to succeed!
Follow my lead
and yes indeed, you will be…
Popular!
You’re gonna be popular!
I’ll teach you the proper ploys
when you talk to boys,
little ways to flirt and flounce
Ooh!
I’ll show you what shoes to wear,
how to fix your hair,
everything that really counts to be
Popular!
I’ll help you be popular!
You’ll hang with the right cohorts,
you’ll be good at sports,
know the slang you’ve got to know.
So let’s start
’cause you’ve got an awfully long
way to go!
Don’t be offended by my frank analysis
think of it as personality dialysis.
Now that I’ve chosen to become a pal,
a sister and advisor,
there’s nobody wiser!
Not when it comes to
Popular!
I know about popular.
And with an assist from me,
to be who you’ll be,
instead of dreary who you were
well, are.
There’s nothing that can stop you
from becoming pop-you-ler… lar
La la, la la!
We’re gonna make you pop-you-lar!
When I see depressing creatures,
with unprepossessing features,
I remind them on their own
behalf, to think of…
Celebrated heads of state
or specially great communicators!
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don’t make me laugh!
They were
popular! Please!
It’s all about popular
It’s not about aptitude
It’s the way you’re viewed
So it’s very shrewd to be
Very very popular
like me!
And though you protest
Your disinterest
I know clandestinely
You’re gonna grin and bear it!
Your new found popularity!
La la, la la!
La la, la la!
La la, ooh!
You’ll be popular!
Just not quite as popular
as me!